Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Lipstick doesn't count.

I was browsing my twitter feed a few weeks ago and came across the hashtag #bikinibridge. Not knowing what this was, I clicked on it to see what was tweeted about this trend. For those of you fortunate enough to be unaware: the bikini bridge is the stretch of stomach on a very thin woman between her hip bones where, when lying down, the bikini bottoms do not touch. The trend #thighgap went hand in hand with this new trend. Before I delve into my feelings on this subject, I want to be clear. If you are a naturally slender woman and that is how you were made, and are healthiest: you are beautiful just the way you are. You are a beautiful woman. My goal through this post is not to shame women who are naturally thin. My goal is to bring attention to something that has been on my mind since about the eighth grade.

The issue that I have with these two trends is that many younger women, for whom these absurd trends are not naturally occurring, are aspiring to the #bikinibridge and the #thighgap. Learning this literally made me nauseous. I don’t mean that in the Kardashian way of ‘I literally died when I saw that dress.’ I mean I actually felt physically sick when I scrolled through the “bikini bridge” trend. Many of the tweets looked to come from young girls dieting and exercising to obtain these two physical traits. After my nausea subsided, I felt overwhelmingly sad. I feel so sad for these young women that are growing up in a world where the majority of us are not society’s version of beautiful. I felt sad seeing some of these girls in high school tweeting things like “working on getting that #bikinibridge” with a picture of a super model attached. I felt sad for all the women in the world who look in the mirror get frustrated, and even cry because of what they see. These trends I’m talking about are pretty extreme, but there are so many different things that every woman finds wrong with herself. If you are a woman, you know.

Two months ago my mom, aunt, cousin, and I went on our annual mother’s day weekend trip to South Beach Miami, Florida. It is always the best trip. However, bikinis in May are not a formula for a lot of positive chatter about body image. If you’ve never been to Miami, you should know that it is not a place for the self-conscious. This year we made a rule that for every negative comment you made about your body or the way you looked, you had to say something positive about yourself. This made such a difference in how I felt during and after the trip. By focusing on the positive things about ourselves, this was the most confident I have ever felt on that trip.  I’m not sure about the other women that were on the trip, but I am still working to practice counteracting my body shaming with positive thoughts. Whenever I look in the mirror and find something I don’t like, I shift my focus to something I do like about myself. If you are a woman that gets frustrated with the way you look, I am challenging you to do the same. I am also challenging you to badger the women you care about to practice this simple habit. At times, my cousin and I had to force our mothers to say something they liked about themselves. And the three seconds it took to reply “lipstick doesn’t count! Say it and mean it” were totally worth it. This small practice makes such a difference. I realize that the bikini bridge and thigh gap trends still exist, but I am hoping that by spreading some positive body love, we learn better how to love ourselves and help teach younger generations to love themselves just the way they are.


Sunday, May 4, 2014

Be Nice. Please.

"It's nice to be important,
but it's more important to be nice."
John Cassis
I think this is one of my all-time favorite quotes. A good reminder to play nice - especially when something is not that big a deal (hint: most things are not a big deal).

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Just the way you are

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood was a staple of my childhood as I'm sure it might have been for many of you. Somewhere at my parents' house there is a home video of me the morning of my first day of kindergarten. I think all firsts are a pretty big deal for the firstborn child. I remember watching the video many years later (probably stumbled upon the home videos while sorting through stuff). My mom is asking me if I'm ready for school, and if I'm excited for school. I answer her, but I'm pretty uninterested in helping her capture the memory. Mr. Rogers is telling stories in the background. I think she got the hint, she zooms out and I'm laying laying on my stomach with my hands holding my face while I soak up all that Mr. Rogers says.

Fred Rogers was certainly an extraordinary man who spread love and smiles everywhere he went. His reputation speaks for itself. I recently stumbled across a quote from the last episode of his series that spoke to me. He was saying goodbye, for now anyway - he always said he would be back at the end of each episode. It reminded me how special this show was to me, and how much love there is in the world. I hope it does the same for you.

"I'm just so proud of all of you who have grown up with us, and I know how tough it is some days to look with hope and confidence on the months and years ahead. But I would like to tell you what I often told you when you were much younger. I like you just the way you are."


Friday, February 7, 2014

Can anyone hear me? And other concerns

The last time I wrote on my blog was exactly four months ago. I might be the worst blogger of all time.

Early on in my blogging endeavor my good friend and fellow blogger (much better at it and more consistent than myself) would text me every once in a while saying "hey, have you written lately?" This would urge me to keep my chronicles up-to-date and write write write. I appreciated these sweet reminders and found solace in my writing. At the time, I was job-searching...and we all know that any ounce of comfort and peace is precious during that time.

However, I simply have not had that urge to write as of late. Skiing with my parents last weekend, my mom kept saying "Love you Logan. Love, Logan!" It reminded me that my mom is my number one fan and that this blog does still exist.

The main issue I have with blogging and a big reason I leave it for months at a time is: 


There are SO MANY blogs out there. Good ones too. Very specific. About books, culture, food, wine, fashion, fashion, fashion. Seriously, there are a lot of fashion blogs. Sometimes I read them and I get confused about what looks good and what doesn't. Like so is this woman saying I should put glue all over my body and then roll around in my childhood craft room so that I look like Nicki Minaj? Or is that not a good look? I firmly believe that "What Not to Wear" is sucking rare interesting people out of the world. Women that wear scrunchies are rare and special. Don't stifle their individuality! Of course they look better in a blazer with natural highlights. EVERYONE looks better in a blazer with natural highlights. Duh.

I digress. Anyway, there are a number of reasons that I drop the mic & step out of the blog game for what many bloggers would consider an unacceptable amount of time. The biggest reason is that I am well aware that 98% of what I say is very far from ground-breaking. But that leads me to wondering if anyone is even reading? And if so, is it changing your day or mood or moment for the better? That's all I really want to do.



Monday, October 7, 2013

Love you

We have all learned a lot about love since we were just little kids. Ariel, Cinderella, and a few other Disney characters taught us that life isn't very much fun until you meet someone, fall in love, and live happily ever after. As a woman living in 2013, this sounds awfully silly. And yet, as silly as it sounds, I think a lot of women still truly believe it. Cher asked if we believe in life after love, but I'm asking you if you believe in such a thing as a happy, content life as a woman before love?

We all have that girlfriend or family member who is struggling, unsure of themselves, and trying to find their way in the world. How many times have you heard other women say, "I hope she finds someone." As if loving someone else will solve all of her issues with herself. You know what I hope for that scared young woman? I hope she finds herself. I hope she learns what she wants and how to make herself happy all on her own. I hope she is able to look in the mirror and know she is beautiful inside and out - without validation. I hope she finds confidence and strength to deal with the challenges that life will undoubtedly throw her way. I hope she finds work that satisfies her and provides her with enough means to live comfortably. Someone once said to me "you're the only person who is with you for your entire life- so you should probably learn how to get along with yourself." How true that is. Love is a fantastic and beautiful thing, but only after you have a handle on your relationship with you. Carrie Bradshaw said it best:
"...the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."


Thursday, September 26, 2013

Live Your Life

It's easy to get sucked into that little screen - especially now that it has your work email, social networks, texts, and picture shares all in an instant. I am absolutely guilty of choosing my phone over real life at times - but I'm actively working on getting away from this bad habit

It feels good to forget your phone. Or forget to charge it and let it die - I am notorious for this. If you don't take a picture, instagram a video, or tweet something witty, it all still happened. And you probably were more in tune with whatever spectacular moment you chose to live instead of simply document.


Friday, September 13, 2013

Work like a dog

This photo that one of my fabulous co-workers sent me this morning ensuring that my weekend will be awesome. This is her dog at her desk. I loled. All the credit goes to her, but I had to spread the joy.

Luci at work
 Happy Friday!